Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mothers Day

 Kara picked out Adirondack chairs for herself and her cousins Friday. I thought they might encourage her to sit for awhile. I was wrong :(
 A girl and her new stick, always on the go. Who needs toys when Nanny's yard has all the sticks a little Princess could want?
 A very RARE photo of Kara when she is not in motion. Even in her sleep she is a wiggle worm.
First attempt at a cupcake bouquet for the grands at Sunday/Mothers day dinner.

I have been so slack in posting here lately. My world has been taken over by the toddlers!! I have the dirty house, sore muscles and laugh lines to prove it. Ha

Today I am alone......Well almost. I just chased AJ the bad beagle out of the creek next door. Hubby has major fence work to catch up on when he returns, durn dog won't stay out of that creek.

We are all meeting at DD#1's home later today for Sunday/Mothers Day dinner. The menu? Hamburgers/hot dogs (SIL's will do the grilling) Bake beans (done), Macaroni salad (done), devil eggs (done), home canned bread and butter pickles (loaded up), Chocolate chip cheesecake (done), first attempt at a cupcake bouquet (complete). I tell you I am one lucky Mama, my girls are so sweet to host Mothers Day dinner for me!!! Hello girls, when you host dinner you should do the cooking.

I hit the floor in high gear this morning so I could get all the cooking, baking, and laundry completed before the afternoon heat takes over the house. It really is time to turn the air conditioner on but I have been holding off to keep the electric bill down and also from pure fear. You see our heat pumps (one for downstairs another for upstairs) are 22 years old. Each year I have fears that they won't start up. I have to deal with enough bad crap when hubby is out of town, the last thing I want to face is a MAJOR repair (replacement). Yep I am a chicken, a hot one at that! Ha

In addition to the grands being around so darn much the past two weeks we are emotionally struggling with an extended family member. This family member has made many BAD choices over her adult life, she has lived well above her means her entire life, she refuses to grow up and face "day to day" life in the real world. Added to that she does have health problems through no fault of her own although she won't take the steps necessary to improve her health. What a mess. We have financially helped out for 39 long years in emergencies and just because we wanted too at times. Along with that help has always been a BIG and I do mean BIG dose of advice. I have gone so far as traveling to her home for face time, spring cleaning, pin and paper budgeting, trips to the bank, long term discussions with her and Social Security office so she can really see what her retired life will be like if she doesn't change her ways. Nothing has helped.

Hubby and I decided 10 years ago that when she is unable to work we have to let what happens, happen. She came into a LARGE amount of money at that time. It could have been a life changing amount if she would have shown any responsibility at all. Instead it was used (wasted IMO) on tanning beds, hair salons, Mani and pedies, fab trips, cute clothes, wine (I think lots of wine), eating out, the list goes on and on. Our retirement has been set with just two of us in mind. Even with all the planning and saving we have done during our marriage who knows if it will be enough. We in no way did our financial planning with three on the payroll.

We made what was for me one of the hardest decisions ever by saying no last week.......The house of cards she has been living in has come tumbling down. To the tune of $159,000.00 to just stay in her home. That doesn't touch the consumer debt that I hate to even think about. Bankruptcy is the only way for her to go right now, even with that she will loose her home. The only thing I can think of to ensure she has a roof over her head for the future is to get her name on the waiting list for public housing.

She did agree to do the legwork and get signed up for housing as she too didn't know another way out. The state she lives in has openings right now!! Unheard of in our area, the waiting list can take month's if not years. Problem solved right? Na, she was not impressed with the size of the apartment, her things would never fit, the closet space was no where near what she would need. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.  My response...your shit (sorry for the language) sure won't fit in your car, grow up now.

She will no longer take my calls to check on her...Turd...Broke turd at that. I am too darn old for so many sleepless nights over another's irresponsible behavior but it's hard, so hard....... No more crying today!!!

Happy Mothers Day!!


12 comments:

  1. Awwwwwwww first of all I hope you have a lovely day with your family - yes, isn't it so nice of them to host - perhaps next year they'll host AND cook lol! Secondly - it seems like every family is "blessed" with someone who feels that it isn't THEIR responsibility to look after themselves. It's weird because they grow up in the same family yest they turn out the exact opposite of everyone else!?! You've made the right decision though I know it is hard for you because it weighs so much on your mind. But it isn't for you to figure out - you've done more than enough.
    HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!!

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    1. Thanks Jane, happy Mothers day to you as well. Wht a week it has been :(

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  2. Happy Mother's Day you HOT chick. Put your worries aside, as if they won't help themselves let them slide. I enable a son for too many years where I had to "let go & let God", one of the hardest things I have had to do. I still have lots of moments of tears. I hope you have the BEST Mother's Day, Debby, as with your cooking/baking I am sure your family will over at their house *smile* xx

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  3. Happy Mother's Day, one hot Grandma :) And I'm sorry about your relative!! We have one like that too, and it brakes our heart to see him going down...But you know what, they do need the reality check. I'm glad you said no even when it's really hard to do!!

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    1. Thanks Lena, lots more praying to do. God give me strength to continue to say no

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  4. Awww... ((Debby)) Happy Mother's Day!! You've done all you can do and anyone who bails her out isn't helping her anymore, just enabling her at this point. Everyone has to grow up sooner or later... I think her time has come.

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  5. Thanks Carla, you are right 55 is way past time to get a clue!

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  6. Debby - I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day! You are doing the right thing with your family member, I've travelled this road with family and the reality is even if you gave them everything you have it wouldn't be enough. Going down with her doesn't help anyone.

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  7. SAK, I hadn't thought of it that way, but you are right, Thanks!

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  8. You can't make people do the right thing, they have to decide to do it. You have been so good to do so Much.
    Walk away is all you can do, I am afraid.

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  9. Thank you Rhonda I know it's the right thing to do. Sometimes doing the right thing is so hard :(

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