Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Where does it end

Our big boy Tyler graduated from pre-school today. Of course we are proud of any accomplishments our grands achieve, from rolling over, setting up, taking that first step, heck some days I celebrate a good poop in hopes that fussy babies will feel better afterwards.

Call me old fashion but when did a cap and gown become a tradition for 5 year old's who's accomplishments while important, are really nothing more than what should be expected of a normal 5 year old. I am all for a little celebration at the end of the school year for families to gather and hear a sweet song the little ones have learned during the year, maybe even some cookies and punch but a full all out graduation seems a bit much to me.

Here is a few of the things that have really floored me in the past 2 weeks. The gifts some of these tiny tots are receiving blows my mind. One little boy received a trip to Disney, another a Kindle Fire, one family sent out invitations to a back yard BBQ to everyone the kiddo had ever had contact with. At today's ceremony one family hired a professional photographer to memorialize their pre schooler's graduation.

Last week DD#1 and I discussed some of the gifts Ty's friends had been receiving, shocking is all I can say. Tyler has been pretty excited to know that you get gifts at graduation. DD#1 and I decided any gifts Tyler would receive needed to be in the form of books, there would be no invitations sent out or announcements!

Tonight Tyler is having a special little cake with his family after dinner that I picked up at the store. Come bedtime he will get to choose what big boy chapter book he would like Mommy or Daddy to read that he received from each of us today. Hubby and I gave him "Farmer Boy" by Laura Ingalls Wilder, when he opened it he told me "Nanny they didn't teach us to read". That's OK big guy, Mommy and Daddy will do the reading until you learn, that's your next step in being a big boy.

I feel like things like this pre school graduation experience is where the entitlement mentality begins. Little ones are receiving ridicules inappropriate gifts and celebrations for learning to line up for playground time, setting nicely at lunch, being quiet during nap time, learning to share. Where does it end?

Do you get sucked into purchasing gifts that are out of a reasonable price range or that are against your principles just to fit in? Are you embarrassed to give a gift that might be home made or that you purchased on sale? Our Kiddo's learn from what we as parents do not what we say.

 BTW we all purchased our books at "Barnes and Nobles" using our family membership card, love that discount. We also got in on the deal for more Beach bags at $9.95, perfect for some reasonably priced gift giving. I am not embarrassed to give a gift I have picked up on sale, as a matter of fact I am very proud of my stash in the gift closet and drawers. I try to keep a little stock of some hand made things for a quicky gift. NEVER be embarrassed for living within your means.

Off my soap box now, I too will be curling up with a book in my bed, need to rest up for the arrival of the rug rats in the AM.


  1. I am behind you all the way, Debbie. My boys never got anything I could not afford, just for the sake of keeping up with the "Jones", never mind the debt ! Yes, how are they to learn when all they see is give, give, give way beyond their years!

  2. Wow, my Kid got ice-cream for finishing Pre-K :) What would these kids get after High School- Lamborghini?? I agree with you-this is where the problem starts. Parents just won't be able to keep up with kids' demands if they start to feed their wants so early and like this!

  3. Holy moly...preschool gifts????

    My youngest is now 15 and I remember doing the happy dance when they were out of preschool, not because of their accomplishments, but because I didn't have to pay anymore! There was no graduation ceremony, thankfully, either. Just an end of the year party and the excitement of going to Kindergarten. Parents are doing a BIG disservice to they realize the bar they are setting? What in the world will they give their kids for their high school graduation? I'm with you Debbie..200%!

  4. Our daughter turned 21 last year and we celebrated by building a "girl tent" in our living room and ordering Chinese food. Four of us sat cross-legged on a bunch of scattered pillows for hours eating, drinking and reminiscing about her childhood.

    Granted, we have been extravagant on occasion, but she has never "expected" us to go beyond our means to keep up with her friends.

    It's easy to make celebrations special without over extending the credit cards. Parents just need to use a little imagination, keep it "from the heart" and stop worrying about what their friends are spending.

    Debby, Good reminder to keep it real.

  5. Thank you for the return of sanity to making any and ALL accomplishments a MILESTONE of highest regard.
    This is why our young people are becoming unable to function in the real world. Because we raise them with this attitude of everything they do deserves a medal or a prize. And they get out in the working work and their boss doesn't give them a prize for coming to work every day or being on time....and they can't

    My nephew failed a class and thus did not graduate from high school with his class this weekend.
    But he still expected to be feted by his family and receive gifts and money.
    What planet is he living on, right? ;-)