Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Hump Day and a not so fun adventure

The kitchen table topper is coming along
Today I might just do nothing, or maybe I should do a whole lots of somethings to keep my mind busy. I have had so much stress over the past two weeks trying to help a family member who has made so may big mistakes in life that it is beyond my understanding. I just want to go to bed and put the covers over my head. I don't know how this will all end, but I am thinking it won't be good :(
I'll share what I can along the way, it might just motivate others that poor planing will catch up too you, la tea da attitudes about the future can be costly, poor spending habits can equal a life that will be unpleasant.
After years of ridiculous decisions that for the life of me I just don't get the rubber has meet the road. I have a family member that has been deemed disabled, she will be unable to ever work again due to previous brain injury and strokes. Sad I know but not unexpected. Her strokes have not been major ones but still...with rehab her situation could be totally different today. If she had followed Dr's orders and suggestions her health would be much improved. Rehab is hard work!! Been there done that, all the counseling, encouraging words, get off your rump lectures fell on deaf ears. It was easier to just milk her condition, exaggerate her limitations and go on with a FUN time.
Here is the not so FUN place she has landed.
 She will now be living on $1214.00 a month from SS disability
As soon as her home she turned back in to the lender sells she will be homeless
She has no health insurance
She has debt
She lives alone
She has no savings
She has no retirement
For two weeks I have been trying to help her figure out how she will survive.....
Here on my blog, and so many others I love to follow, we participate in challenges. They can be fun and helpful in many ways, saving a little money, decluttering the home, reading books, trying new recipes, spending less on groceries just to name a few. Personally I learn a lot about myself during these challenges. They can show weakness or strenghts you have, they motivate me to do better.
I will be sharing the frustrating journey (Challenge) I am on with her in this blog. It might just motivate some to save more for the future, take better care of our bodies, donate to the poor in some fashion. I really don't know. What I can tell you is being left holding the bag of one of these "I will never grow up" people is more than I can take some days. Today is one of those days.
We will start with health insurance:
She is signed up for Medicare however there is a two year waiting period for that to kick in. I was in tea total shock over that information!! This by the way took days to get worked out.
OK, next step the dreaded Affordable Health care Act.
 She does not have a computer nor can she go to the library to use one as she has ZERO computer skills. She can text the heck out of that expensive phone that she can't afford but I digress.
OK...You can call over the phone to sign up. No can do, as her speech is so bad no one would ever be able to understand her.
Those aviators that are advertised on TV that are costing the tax payers a pretty penny can't be found, grrrr
This should not be that hard !!!!
We agreed I would call at 3:00 on Sunday, using my computer and e-mail with the information she provides and hope the website works.
 Hells bells we didn't get far on this one as she has no records of what her income was this past year. The one piece of information she did have was from SS showing she had received $6,800.00 WHAT!!!!????
We didn't even get a step forward before we took MANY steps back. Where did that $6,800.00 go?
To be continued.....Thanks I feel better already just getting this off my chest.
I might need a bigger bra soon,  there is a whole lot still on my chest.


  1. I'm so sorry you're going through this-it's hard to help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. This insurance mess is sure a nightmare, isn't it? We just finished 2 months of pulling our hair trying to get insurance through that website! Hang in there-you're a good person to be doing this!

  2. *Sigh* here you go again, Debby. Some people never get the bigger picture & just live in the let's have fun today world. Not a pretty mess you are so kindly trying to assist in again. All the best & prayers on your new quest (challenge) xx

  3. This could be my mother. I went through much of this with her. You are a special person for being willing to help with this. Please remember to take extra care of yourself while you are helping her.

    I'm sure you thought of all of this - but just in case. Bankruptcy may be necessary for her - unless she is judgement proof. Bankruptcy lawyers will do a free consult and tell her. Senior/disabled subsidized housing tied to her SSDI income. Look for "senior services" group in local government - they can help. If she has SS Disability she should get Medicaid - not much - but something. Also, did she get a back payment on the SSDI? Or is she getting one. That could help smooth somethings out. She should be applying for food stamps too. Again - every little bit helps.

    I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  4. She is lucky to have you, even if she probably doesn't think so

  5. Oh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this again. But I know, if anyone could help her, it would be you!! Good luck, dear!

  6. Holy moly Debby. How close is this family member to you? Are you responsible for her? I guess it doesn't really matter now that you are in the crux of it all. Your family member sounds like my co-worker. She complains non stop about her plight in life (no money, no retirement, huge debts, etc.) I make suggestions on how she could help herself, but it falls on deaf ears. Sometimes you just can't help those people. Hang in there. I'm a little curious to learn more! ;)!

  7. How awesome are you trying to help her. I know this is hard advice to take because I have family members in bad situations...don't we all. But the bottom line is that these are her problems. You can help to the best of your ability but remind yourself that this is not your mess to clean up. You are there to help her but she has to want to help herself. Let her know that you you are willing to help her but you need to set the limits that work for you. Good Luck

  8. First... WHERE did you get the pattern for that table topper, Debby!? I *NEED* it please!!!! lol!! Secondy, that scares me like crazy... I never want to be in that position... :( I just know I wouldn't like cat food from a can. ;) lol!

  9. Again I'm sorry. You don't need a "real" income for the ACA just a guesstimate. Since she will be getting $1214 a month from SSDI she has a true income to tell.
    Also the people at the ACA should have all her info from SSA and the IRS so they would know her last year "reportable income." Normally they would base it on that but you don't want her to get too large a credit as she doesn't sound capable of saving it and she will have to return it with her taxes next year unless she has huge deductions (unlikely). Good luck!